Hello. It’s roughly 2 a.m. on a Tuesday.

I’m restless after some brief sleep. Fortunately, a friend on the East Coast is awake so I have someone to communicate with at this late hour.

Sleep and I have always been at odds. I wouldn’t sleep if my mind and body didn’t need it so much. Late evenings are my favorite time. I feel most at ease now, when most of my world is quiet and it’s just me and the cats. I think being a reformed insomniac helps a bit too. I function pretty well on much less sleep than a lot of people I know.

Only 3-4 hours of sleep? Piece of cake.

All that will be changing soon though. Thanks to Lawrence, I’ve been taking my physical health a little more seriously the last couple of months. I’ve been eating better and moving more, resulting in five pounds melting away without me noticing.

In addition to regular strenuous hikes, we will be adding strength training to my routine after Thanksgiving.

This newfound interest in my physical health stems from a couple of places. First, my slightly older friends have cautioned me to start working out because they’ve noticed their bodies changing in various ways. Second, my mom just found out she has osteoporosis.

I also realized that I’ve focused almost exclusively on my mental and emotional health in the last eight years. While absolutely vital, I noticed I don’t expel the same amount of effort for my physical body. I simply don’t care as much about this meat casket.

Keeping myself alive and healthy is exhausting. I have never enjoyed exercise or sport, but at my age I’m trying to reframe it as potentially cathartic. I can channel all my stress and pent-up rage into my workouts. There is plenty to be angry about.

I’m already a masochist; I just need to extend that to exercise. No small feat.

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Switching gears.

For the second time since the pandemic began, I am staying in San Francisco for Thanksgiving. I’ve done so much traveling this year that I just want to stay put until Christmas. (I did fly to Vegas a couple of weeks ago though.)

This week will still be busy though. I have a somewhat extensive menu planned for Thanksgiving dinner with a couple of friends. And that early morning, I’ll finally attend the Indigenous Peoples’ Day Sunrise Gathering on Alcatraz Island. I’ve wanted to check this out since I first moved to the Bay 16 years ago. This year, I know a bunch of people going and we’re all bringing snackies.

I want to really honor the indigenous people of this land I get to live on. Every Thanksgiving meal thus far now feels so performative in retrospect. Of course I still have fond memories from years past, but I just never actively paid my respects to the people who have suffered so much.

As I grow older, I want to be more intentional in more aspects of my life. Attending this sunrise gathering is part of that. Getting serious about my physical health is part of that. Spending more time with people I care about is also part of that.

I don’t want this intentionality to fade as most resolutions do, so I’m starting ahead of the new year. Fortunately I have people who care about me who will hold me accountable.

Wish me luck.