And I’m going to say I am ridiculously lucky to have him in my life.
These are very good times. I am much more at ease with myself these days. My self-esteem is higher than it probably ever has been. I am proud of myself and who I am, and I hope it shows.
So many wonderful people fill my life with so much laughter. I have made so many new friends since joining the college newspaper; it’s almost unbelievable. It’s hard to fathom the great rapport I have with these people. And I have somehow managed to make more female friends, which is in itself odd for so many reasons. The paper is also how I met the boyfriend. :]
But I won’t forget my old friends. They’ve been making me laugh for years now. The Guys, especially. They’ll always be there, whether I want them or no. ;]
I am such a sap these days. When I am out in the waking world, I act a little put off by my random surges of happiness, but when I’m sleepy or by myself I tend to revel in them. I am just not accustomed to feeling so full of Life, and my defense mechanism is to act as if I don’t care as much. I am putting myself out on a limb in a way I’ve never allowed myself to do before. I could very well be teetering on the edge of some precipice; why shouldn’t I be careful with my feelings? Yet at the same time being careful doesn’t allow me to fully appreciate the loveliness around me. I can’t say why I’m so afraid of getting hurt. There really isn’t anything to fear. I’m creating my own borders and limitations.