Paper dreams.

I haven’t been in the mood to hang out with people.

I have a a new kitten.
I have a great boyfriend.

I am amazingly content with just those two.

That is not to say that I don’t care for any one else anymore. I just haven’t felt the need or desire to surround myself with other people. I spend enough hours in the newsroom every week as it is, and at school I am constantly inundated with random things and random people.

As of late I’ve found a good movie or good literature just as satisfying as going out. And watching Gizmo grow into her innate feline finesse has been immensely satisfying too.

I don’t know.

At a time when I feel that I ought to be spending as much time as possible with everyone I know, I would much rather just not.


Yesterday I told David that I have this ridiculous urge to meet and get to know someone new. Someone entirely without any strings attached.

It made me think about how difficult it is to actually meet a stranger.

There are several ways I could make friends. Through school, at work, etcetera. But rarely do I take the opportunity, or the chance, to introduce myself to someone I randomly happen to be sitting next to if I’m at a coffee shop, or standing next to in line at the grocery store.

The distance between a person I don’t know and myself has always felt like a great chasm to me. Ordinary small talk is inevitable and easy to engage in, but there almost always is a certain point when the inane conversation has become too long, and then becomes awkward.

Meh. I’m over-analyzing. And over-generalizing.


I was in a strange mood for a bit yesterday.

I got that “maybe-we-should-break-up-now-because-it-will-hurt-less” feeling. I know it’s silly, and I know that it is chiefly wishful thinking on my part, but I have this bizarre certainty that I could handle it better now as opposed to later.

Jaena is becoming quite good and swallowing her insecurities.