Hello, all.

In keeping with my last blog, here’s a photo of my brother and I, circa 1990. Maybe 1991.

And yes, I rocked that Batman shirt as best I could, even if it was pink.

This was one of our many Chuck E. Cheese excursions. I actually remember this day, primarily because I remember wearing this shirt there. I wore it proudly, even then.

We were there with our mother. One of our favorite things was riding the silly little covered wagon that kind of just chugged along without going anywhere.

Good times at a dirty place.

—–

Now, let me relate a bizarre dream. First, I have to add that whenever I dream, there is a part of me actively participating, and a very separate part just watching the events unfold.

Out of the blue, I decided to leave David and get back with Oz. I know, blasphemy, yes? It would never happen in reality, but I suppose my subconscious wanted to prove a point.

Oz and I were hanging out at my dad’s place in Cerritos, and of course, we subsequently got into an argument over something really insubstantial. I decided to leave my seat next to him on the couch for a chair at the dining table. It seems that I became exceedingly silent and pensive, so Oz asked me, “Do you have anything to say to me?”

Without hesitation, I replied, “I can’t do this. I don’t know what I was thinking. There is no way in hell I want to be with you.”

Ziiiiiiiiing!

He was speechless, and I started dialing a number on my phone.

“Who are you calling now? Danny?” Oz sneered.

He never liked Danny. In hindsight he probably felt threatened by my relationship with Danny, which is why he forbade me to talk to him. Insecure, much?

But I digress.

As haughtily as I could, I said, “No. I’m calling DAVID.”

Oz was surprised. Hell, even the phantom observer in me was surprised. Danny is usually the one I immediately call when I’m starting to feel as if I’m losing control.

Then Oz gathered his things and left, without a single word. I was extremely glad about that. I didn’t want to deal with any more of his bullshit, and in addition, I was feeling ridiculous for even putting either of us in that situation.

The above is the strangest part of the dream. Afterward, the dream just boils down into absurdity, i.e. flying naked or swimming in a giant vat of chocolate pudding, so I won’t share that.

I awoke feeling strangely tranquil. The dream gave me a lot of solace, and it allayed some of my fairly persistent and ridiculous insecurities.

For now.

I have a fabulous knack for revisiting those fears.

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