A majority of my friends are not very confrontational, and I think this very fact is why I prefer not to get involved in situations. At least, that’s how it used to be.
Quite frankly, I hate(d) being a mouse.
The older I get, the less patience I have for people. I had hoped it would be the opposite, but so far, no dice.
Unfortunately for others…
Less patience = less tact.
I’m starting to notice that I am much more abrasive these days. Most times, I revel in it. I thoroughly enjoy giving my piece, but I need to temper it with more sympathy and empathy.
All of these thoughts are a bit ridiculous, since earlier this week I was giving Tony a short little lecture about tact.
Sometimes it truly feels like being nice yields too few positive results. Well, I’ll add a caveat: this mostly applies to strangers and touchier situations. Situations like the one Tony currently finds himself in.
He is too much of a nice fellow, and it seems as though people walk all over him. While some may think it isn’t my place to take any of his issues into my own hands, a huge part of me would disagree. I am fiercely loyal to the people I love. Tony is one of my best friends, and I don’t take that title lightly. In a sense, anything that happens to him, happens to me.
This is bound to get me into trouble sooner than later, especially since I’m feeling more vocal these days.
But eh, once again. My decisions are all my own. And I never do anything without giving it serious thought.
In regards to the title of this entry:
No matter how many years and miles separate us, I am unfortunately tied to you. I still feel the aftershocks of our disastrous relationship. Despite the length of time we were together, and no matter that the last year was relatively uneventful, the very essence of that relationship was poisonous. I was a fool to remain by your side for so long.
From the physical fights to the feelings of worthlessness and utter dependency, I absolutely hate you. I am disgusted that you somehow convinced me that your love was the only love I had on this planet. I hate that you took credit for my well-being, so much so that you used to boast that you were the only reason I am alive today.
I wish on you every possible unhappiness on earth and beyond. I hope it’s clear that all of your suffering causes me great joy.
Still, it does not give me so great a joy compared to the contentment I have with my life these days.