Money makes me angry. Well, mostly my lack of it. During my lunch break at HarperOne, I researched various graduate programs and publishing certificate programs. And I realized I can’t even afford a certificate program at City College of San Francisco. Disheartening, to say the least. Financial aid is available and so is help from my parents, but I feel like I should be more financially self-sufficient by now. Certainly unrealistic, but eh. Hard to shake nonetheless.
If I must admit it, I probably shouldn’t even indulge in the occasional movie/museum or dinner outing if I want to save money.
I am by no means poor and I wouldn’t call my life a struggle, but I am acutely aware of my monetary means, and it depresses me. I look at people whose parents can afford to foot their entire higher education bills, and I GLARE. Even if they still live at home. I can’t help it. I know they don’t have to worry about credit cards or lurking loans. They don’t have to count their pennies just to learn something they love. I have to wonder, “Why not me?” I LOVE learning. I want to return to school already, and I’m only two months removed from graduation. Why can’t I easily pursue knowledge like them?
I’m seriously contemplating moving back to Los Angeles, mostly out of necessity. I’ve given myself a bit of a deadline: if no decent job prospects within a year, I have to move back. I can’t keep digging myself into more financial debt alone.
Meh, rant over. I eventually just get too tired and continue on with Life. There isn’t much else to do anyway.