That’s a lie. Blah. Every morning, when I realize I have to come back to this place, I can’t help but furrow my brow in frustration. I ask, “Why in blazes am I still here?” A very small part of it is the great discount on prescription glasses, but the reality is that I can’t seem to land another job elsewhere yet. Believe me, I’ve been trying for the last year. San Francisco is a tough place to find employment, and I know I’m fortunate to have any kind of job. Yet I still wake up every morning with this sinking feeling in my gut. The work just isn’t stimulating, and I’m forced to interact with people who drop thousands of dollars each day like it’s nothing, while I count the zeros and think about how easy it would be for them to pay all of my school loans. All of them. And it wouldn’t even hurt their bank accounts.
Anyway, I keep telling myself it isn’t forever. I’m still in grad school. I just wrapped up my second semester toward my MLIS degree. I have volunteer and freelance projects that should provide adequate stimulation and gratification. I should feel fulfilled.
Blah. This mood calls for a lot of coffee. I need pep.