Apparently my dad doesn’t want to give me much of a choice in the matter. I told him I am perfectly fine with staying in the living room, but he insists that I have his room. This would make me feel really guilty though, especially with the hours I keep. Very rarely do I go home at a reasonable hour, and I imagine my dad won’t be able to tolerate my early morning returns, especially since he gets homne from work a bit after midnight. But he would much rather have me stay with him than with my grandparents. I am not that much of an inconvenience to them though. They actually enjoy having me there because to them, my presence means they have more things to do. When my brother lived with them, they did everything for him. They washed his clothes and his car. They cooked or bought him food whenever he was hungry. However, I am far more independent than my brother, and I sometimes have to argue with my grandma not to do my laundry. Since I was a young child, I always preferred to do things on my own, so I don’t feel right when my family tries to do things for me.

Blargh.

I really would like my own place right now, though I feel like this desire is ridiculously selfish. First of all, I wouldn’t be able to pay rent on my own. My mother would have to help me.

Scratch the part about me being independent.

I like to do things on my own, but I am terribly dependent upon my parents for financial aid. I may move through Life making my own decisions, but they finance everything. My parents rarely complain. I often wonder if it is a displaced feeling of guilt that spurs them to spend so much money on my brother and I. In our family, our parents are the only couple who went through with a divorce, and while it happened when we were very young, the repercussions were eventually felt as we got older. So it seems to me that they give us money as compensation.

It is a very satisfactory situation, but I don’t like the idea of being spoiled. I AM spoiled, but I don’t expect everything I want.

So.

I’m a resident of Cerritos for now. Visit?

It is a dull, peaceful town, but it can be fun. Especially late at night. The air is also cleaner, and the sky is clearer. We could walk around the parks in the middle of the night. We can harass the ducks as they try to sleep. We can make gravel angels in the middle of the street.

Plans.

Optometrist appointment.
Bowling?
Sushi with Mike and Donna in the afternoon.

There is an Ed. Board meeting on Wednesday, and we’ll be sticking around to meet new staff members.

Thursday I’ll be treating Noel to ice cream. :]

And Friday morning David and I will be leaving for VEGAS!

I’m very happy.

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