I loved dinosaurs when I was a kid.
I owned a variety of books.
When I was very young I used to like the Diplodocus. Then I grew to love the Tyrannosaurus Rex and the Velociraptor. The T-Rex for its immense size, large head, and tiny arms; the Raptor for its speed and gigantic claws.
Ever since I met these carnivores, I couldn’t return to the long-necks or any grass eater, for that matter.
I am terribly exhausted. For reasons I haven’t yet discovered, I could not fall into a deep sleep. I was stuck in a state of semi-consciousness. I was very bothered by something, and truth be told, I haven’t slept well for the last few nights.
Today started out all right. I was irritated because I really could not fall asleep. I kept waking up every half hour or so until I had to get out bed to go to work. Work went by fairly quickly, as it always does when I work before the store actually opens to the public. After work I met up with Nancy at the Farmer’s Market at Wilson Park. We ate Peruvian food, contemplated the ducks and turtles, ate kettle corn, wandered the market, and bought flowers, fruit, and granola. It was a pleasant outing that ended far too soon.
I didn’t want to go home yet, so I called Donna and went over to her house. I discovered something I did not exactly like, and I didn’t want to talk about it. I am a bit worried that it may drive a stake between her and I. I am fiercely stubborn, and she isn’t exactly forthcoming with information. Auughh. I want to do something. I want to take him aside and tell him that he is enormously lucky that she gave him another chance, and that I have been fairly cordial to him thus far, but if he fucks this up again and hurts her again, this time he will definitely have to deal with me. There is only so much I can stand by and take. I think I have been pretty good with letting my feelings be known without meddling, but goddamn. I just can’t do it. I can’t be around him and pretend to be OK. I don’t respect him. I think he’s a coward. I think he’s a child. And I think she can do so much better. My first instinct is to hit him.
I don’t understand. Our situations were fairly similar.
I honestly don’t want anything to do with Oz anymore.
Oh my, I am very upset. I was exhausted a little while ago, and now I’m all worked up. I’m ANGRY.
A part of me just wants to walk away from it; avoid it and just deal with my own problems. But she’s my best friend and I can’t just leave her behind.
Maybe I ought to just go to bed.