Perhaps my favorite feeling is that moment when you realize someone loves you, whether romantically or platonically.
The revelation is enormous. It makes me feel grand and perfect in my own little way.
Ah, and the certainty of it! Knowing deep inside that someone cares about you.
That despite feeling like I am trapped alone inside my mind, I have people around me who have decided that my well-being is important to their own.
(Interjection: My dad is singing in the shower. Haha.)
I feel good right now. Lately I have been trying to pinpoint the exact moments when I realized that he or she or you or they loved me.
Most are far too back in the past to recall; what remains is the security that the feelings have not changed. Ah, and I remember all the good times. How we met. The things we did. The places we went. All the random crazy, awkward times.
Let’s see:
Donna- She’s my default best friend. Haha. Thank the heavens that worked out. We’ve known each other for years, and for a while we did not want to be around each other. Now though, she is one of the few girls who can stomach my random inanities.
Tony- Linus, my little brother who pays me nickels for my advice. Haha. We became fast friends back in freshman year when we used to crack wise in Tuitasi’s biology class. We really got close in sophomore year. Bowling, karaoke, etc. I got laid by the lane. :[
Guevarra- Oh, he hated me when he first met me. He thought I was too happy. I was very… perky, for lack of a better word, in my sophomore year. When he joined the Trailblazer I was always laughing and that bugged him. Until he got to know me. Then it was love, baby. He taught me the “no worries” philosophy. I used to get stressed out a lot until he came into my life. “No worries, friend. No worries.”
Markie Mark- I’ve known Mark since sixth grade. The guy was a player and a jerk, but he grew out of it by high school. I had the biggest crush on him when he was a jerk though. Meh. Now he’s one of my best friends. His offbeat sense of humor usually gets weird looks from me, but I’ve learned to love it.
Laura- She was the first girl I could be a girl with. While growing up we were both kind of tomboy-ish, but we talked about boys and nail polish along with rocks and butterflies.
Danny- When I was a bit more of a romantic, I used to think he was my soul mate. Despite being so far away from each other, we always got along so well. We have the same sense of humor, and a very similar outlook on life. I have known him for almost seven years now. I am terribly excited that I’ll be spending a lot of time with him at the end of the month.
I have too many friends to keep this up but these six people are perhaps my best.
The most recent lovely episode involves David, of course. And to be quite honest, regardless of how gag-worthy this is going to sound, I knew he cared simply by how he looked at me. I also knew he was going to say something about it. During our San Francisco trip he said something to this effect: “I’m fairly certain that I’m falling for you.” Something like that. Haha. I laughed at the “fairly certain” part and then I said that I KNEW I was falling for him. Take that!
I still poke fun at him for being so careful, but I understand why.
Thank god it was dark because I was beaming. My smile is usually huge when I’m with him.
Gag. I don’t want this little blog to turn into a piece on how wonderful the guy is, so I’ll start on something else.
A few nights ago I read a recent blog of Melissa’s, and it sparked my memories of my philosophy of religion course at Santa Monica College.
I learned a lot about the main eastern and western religions of the world in that class. I found the eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism to be much more my speed. It seems they focus more on philosophy and how to attain a fulfilling life, rather than getting hung up on dogma. However, from what I gathered, most religions have the same goals, and possess the same basic teachings. Unfortunately, as subjective human beings, we become obsessed with our interpretations and botch the main objectives of religion.
Shazam.
Jaena Rae 