Today is the the birth anniversary of a dear, crazy, old friend.
I hope the day goes well for you.
We’re growing up and we’re still good friends. While we’re in Vegas, you better go crazy.
Dude, I love you. Haha.
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“When I was young I was invincible.”
I have a Social D song stuck in my head. “Reach for the Sky.”
It is basically about living your life as if each day will be your last. You don’t have time for fear. You don’t have time to be uncertain. Think about the here and now, who and what is most important to you, rather than an intangible future.
And so, I ask myself these questions.
But I find it difficult because I am constantly thinking ahead. I have things planned weeks ahead of time. I have established routines. While I do love spontaneity, I also enjoy being prepared.
Here and now.
The present. Right now I’m simply typing this blog without fearing repercussions or negative feedback. I’m thinking about how the rest of my day will go, what needs to be done, what I would like to do, what I should do.
And I feel good. I cried a bit over the weekend because of my mother, but I dealt with and am dealing with whatever I feel about her. David was also very supportive and made fun of himself in the process.
Right now, I feel magnificent. I want to repeat something I wrote a few weeks ago: I feel perfect in my own little way.
I have my imperfections and I know what I can improve on, but I am still feeling pretty good. My moments of weakness are relatively few and far between these days, and I bounce back with tremendous fervor.
One thing I always have difficulty remembering is that I am human, and I shouldn’t be so ashamed of that fact. I always try to be other than what I am, I suppose. I’m human, so I try to be superhuman, infallible, unwavering and strong. I’m a woman, but I shy away from tears and most demonstrations of emotion because of stereotyping.
Overall I simply want to be a good person. To myself and to those I care about. I don’t want to be weak and falter when it truly matters.
Hum. This blog ran away from me.
Ah, well. It is about that time I should be getting ready to be productive. Chores and errands, etcetera.
Jaena Rae 