A duality that may only make sense to us.

But feel free to ask questions.

Elly: i try to be a good person
Elly: but i fail miserably
Barnaby: because you aren’t
Barnaby: because you can’t be
Elly: and i’m worse than most people because i’m fully aware of my failures
Elly: hah
Elly: you know what i mean
Barnaby: i do
Elly: from my perspective, not yours
Barnaby: and you know that’s what i really think
Elly: i know yours too
Elly: yeah
Barnaby: even from your perspective
Elly: i’m not a good person
Elly: hahaa
Barnaby: nobody lives up to their own standard even
Barnaby: because on some level
Barnaby: i think there is a base standard
Elly: a societal standard?
Barnaby: a divine standard
Barnaby: that is built into us
Elly: ah
Elly: when we talk about these things
Elly: it reminds me how different we are
Elly: and it’s frustrating, but more so it’s bewildering
Barnaby: frustrating?
Barnaby: and more so, bewildering?
Barnaby: as in how are we so alike yet so different?
Elly: frustrating because we’re never going to come to a real compromise
Elly: and yes
Elly: that sums it up
Barnaby: well
Barnaby: i love the fact
Barnaby: that we don’t have to come to a compromise
Elly: i love that too, but i suppose it’s frustrating because i’m never going to get
Elly: the sort of empathy/sympathy i usually get from other friends
Barnaby: hah
Barnaby: that hurts
Elly: and sometimes when you vent, you just want that
Elly: haha
Barnaby: jaena
Barnaby: by every conceivable standard except the one I think is true
Barnaby: you are an amazingly good person
Elly: hahaha
Elly: and THAT hurts
Elly: mostly because it’s just so indicative of our beliefs
Barnaby: it’s weird though
Barnaby: I think we’re all completely screwed up
Barnaby: but in a different sense
Barnaby: i do see you as a great person
Barnaby: intelligent, thoughtful, empathetic
Barnaby: goes on and on
Barnaby: but by the mere fact that you’re human
Barnaby: you are not good
Barnaby: is that a better way for me to put it?
Elly: yeah
Barnaby: you are a shining standard of humanity
Elly: but at the same time, it’s still unsettling
Elly: oh god
Barnaby: but humanity is crap
Elly: don’t get flowery
Elly: haha
Barnaby: (it was only to contrast the second part of that statement)
Elly: i don’t take such compliments well
Elly: haha
Barnaby: but you want them
Elly: well, who doesn’t?
Barnaby: haha
Barnaby: exactly
Elly: it’s nice to hear validation
Elly: even if you doubt it deep down inside
Barnaby: EXACTLY
Barnaby: i don’t think we CAN be validated on that level
Barnaby: without what it is we’re missing
Barnaby: that goodness
Barnaby: god
Barnaby: but yeah
Elly: haha
Barnaby: sorry to say it all again
Elly: nah
Elly: it’s YOU
Elly: and that’s cool
Barnaby: well don’t I feel validated
Barnaby: I’m blushing
Barnaby: on the inside
Elly: ahaha
Elly: silly
Elly: well, this is going into the blog
Elly: whether it will be published, eh
Elly: we’ll see
Barnaby: oh i hope it is
Elly: oh?
Elly: haha

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