While perusing through some oldies but goodies, I felt prompted to remind some old, dear friends of a few things from our high school past.
High school was fun for me. Middle school sucked the big balls, but the good times in high school more than made up for that.
I sent this to Guevarra the other day:
Apr 15 2007 3:57P
Damnit Guevarara. My kick ass friend. I was looking through some old crap and I found the journal I used as a yearbook when we graduated. You wrote some pretty sweet stuff. And you know what? Even though we don’t see each other often, NOTHING that you wrote has changed. We may have changed as individuals, but we’re still kick ass buddies.
Here’s something you wrote:
“You’re one of the few I’ve met who actually truly understands that the mind is EVERYTHING. The mind determines everything: how we see our life, how we perceive events, how we take in emotion. The mind is the strongest muscle. If we key that in, then there’s nothing we can’t do. Whoohoo! We’re SELF-ACTUALIZED! KICK ASS! GANDHI STATUS, HERE WE COME!”
DAMN. I love you.
I found the journal I used as a yearbook senior year. I had refused to buy the $80 piece of crap thing the school was touting as a yearbook.
I read through the entire thing and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy. People really cared about me. Care about me.
Guevarra responded with this:
Apr 17 2007 12:10P
Wow… Man… First off, I gotta say thank you, THANK YOU for sending me that. Because of the way this year has been going, I’ve recently felt that I have been losing touch with that mentality (which was such a big part of what made me, me).
That quote was exactly what I needed to remind me of how I used to view the world when things felt much more simpler. THANK YOU JAERAE!
Damn. I love you too.
I am terribly happy to know that although we revolve in different spheres now, we still have this bizarre connection. I stumbled upon something he sorely needed to hear, and of course, I passed it on to him.
Lestat and Armand. Partners to the end.
In all seriousness though, I am convinced Christopher Michael Keaneu Dioquino Guevarra is one of my soul mates. Or, at the very least, he and I have known each other for several lifetimes, which explains why we understand each other so well. Some of the best conversations I have ever had were with him. We once spent an entire six-hour road trip down from Santa Cruz talking about philosophy and religion. Now, how many people can I realistically do that with?
No one else but Chris has the same high blown ideas that I have. And I love the guy. I love his brain too.
If he can’t be himself, I can’t be myself.
And that ^, my dears, would be a certifiable catastrophe.
While the above may be a little bit of an exaggeration, I must confess that the sentiment is ridiculously accurate. I know he cares because I know he worries about my well-being and my happiness, despite his “no worries” philosophy. Last summer we ran into each other at Richard’s party. And he was a bit buzzed. But he usually is. 😛
But when we were able to talk alone between ourselves, he asked me straight out if I was happy. And I was so hesitant to answer because I already knew that my answer was damning, and uttering it aloud would spark a huge chain of events. It is such a simple question. “Are you happy?” And my answer was “no,” not even a little bit. It made me happy, but I was also a little hurt, when he said that it hurt him to know that I wasn’t happy.
Chris, if you’re reading this, I’ve noticed that for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been my catalyst for change. Good change. Back in high school when I was damning everyone and myself, you helped me see the good in life and I experienced one of the most insane turnarounds that I think I’ll ever witness in this lifetime. And again, this past summer, our talk made me realize that there were so many things wrong with my life, and that I always have the power to change them. You made me realize my fears. And while it took me a while to regain control, I still did it, and I credit you with pushing me in the right direction.
Now I am as happy, relaxed, worry-free, stress-free, as I have ever been.
I’ll never be able to say any of this to you face-to-face as eloquently as I am writing it here now, but I just wanted to thank you for being in my life. You’re DAMN important to me. Don’t you ever fuckin’ forget that. I am so lucky, no, fuckin’ privileged, to have you as my friend.
One thought on “Two against the world.”
Wow. I really don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words right now. All I can say is THANK YOU. Thank you for being in my life. And thank you for reminding me of ME. It couldn’t have come at any other better time than now. I miss you. One Love. No Worries.